Alone

this past week had been quite busy. My dad was around and I enjoyed watching my kids bond with their grandpa. But yesterday I had to send my dad to la guardia airport because he is flying to spend another week with my brothers in Washington State. I honestly felt like a week wasn't enough, it went by too quick. But oh well, that's life. You can't have everything exactly the way you want.

anyway, what I wanted to write about today was - alone. 

It might be a little strange topic especially when it comes to a mom lol coz we are never quite alone. At least I have always been around with my kids. When I only had my daughter, there were still a little more personal time. But after my son was born, I've been everywhere with at least one of my kids.

but this past Thursday, I got to bring my dad to NYC without any of my kids. We actually went to Chinatown to meet up with my dad's friend from Malaysia. It's a bittersweet feeling when I step into Chinatown because that was where I used to first worked when I moved to NYC. I walked by mulberry street and everything felt the same. I have so many different memories there - partly associate with the loneliness back then, the frustration with so many different issues of living in NYC alone. But there's also the sweet memories when me and my husband dated. He would wait at the corner of mulberry street to pick me up after work on Saturday. Memories of a few other friends that I've made during my work there - which unfortunately I did not keep in touch.  

*Lesson one:
never burn your bridges,
and always keep in touch with people that were kind to you* 

so my dad and his friend spent time together and I had that 2 hours of total freedom. I decided to take the subway to midtown. 

it was quite a strange feeling... walking down the familiar streets alone. I felt at that moment I was that girl many many years ago but with a slight more appreciation of being alone by myself. I enjoyed it. 

I enjoyed the time when I had to re-figure out the subway line alone. Waiting at the side for the N train to arrive. And guess what, even the train conductor was nice enough to have me a smile. Everything felt wonderful.  

while I walk down 7th avenue alone, I felt happy. I guess it's been awhile that I am just by myself and being outside walking around. All of a sudden I miss it all of that. I miss just spending that few hours thinking about nothing and worrying about nothing.

*Lesson 2:
it is really essential to find a me time.
Me time as in go out and be alone by yourself
and enjoy not thinking about your kids.
Appreciate that quiet moment.  *

when the time was up, I went back to my life feeling fulfilled.  

I was never a selfish person. I always put everyone ahead of myself. But now I realized, I need part of me back. 

Maybe there's a reason why I had Always kept my nickname or username as - wenalone. I guess deep inside, I do enjoy being alone. 

an introvert loves her alone time. 

do you? 

xoxo, 

W