Why #Possibility?
Why #Possibility ?
PART I
The reason comes easily but it all started with wanting to make a change in my life and in my family's life.
So let's roll back many years ago when I first flew all the way from Malaysia to US the A for my studies. I've always had this goal in my mind that I wanted to travel out of my country and finish my degree. I diligently picked colleges that partnered with Universities in USA and also favored the local U/ Colleges that offered scholarships as well. Why? Because I know it would cost a lot of money and I hate seeing how much my mom had to work in order to provide me that #Possibility to further my studies overseas.
So I managed to get a sports scholarship while studying in the Inti College in Malaysia and I picked the ADP Program (American Degree Program) which means I'll get to get all the general subjects credit finished locally and then transferred to the University that I've picked in USA to finish my degree. Which Uni did I pick? It was all the way in Minnesota lol...I still remembered when I first walk through the US Immigration booth and the Immigration officer looked at all my documents and seize me up then said :" Are you SURE you want to go to Minnesota? It is FREEZING COLD there in the Winter!" Of course I smiled and answered yes (Being a slightly nervous girl traveling overseas and talking to an immigration officer that everyone had warned me the #Possibility of getting denied access LOL) He then chuckled a little and wished me good luck!
So there started my journey of discovering the #Possibility in life...
It is quite a conflicting journey throughout my life.
Seeing how hard my Mom worked just wanting to give me that opportunity to see that there are lots of options out there for me and life is full of #Possibility...
Walking through the immigration feeling like the door of my future was opened and I can grab all the opportunity that I can reach...
But we all struggle along the way, and I was lost.
America taught me to go for my dream and do something that I really LOVED. So half way through finishing my degree, I wanted to switched Uni and go for my dream - which is Dance. I researched all the University that offers that as major and my dance professor than was telling me many University gives minority scholarships etc. So at one side I was trying to build a convincing proposal to my mom, hoping that it would be a success but on the other hand, I had this dreaded feeling that it is a HUGE mistake to even ask.
So I went along and talked to my mom...My passion for Dance was burning.
I wanted to believe that there is a #Possibility of building a career out of what I really love instead of studying TV Broadcasting that I have a small believe that I'll be extremely good & successful at it. But, needless to say, it was shattered.
“You cannot earn good money if you study Dance darling... It is really not a career...”
And...in some ways, I was telling myself that as well...
If you were brought up in a Chinese/Asian Culture, it is really not hard to understand why your parents would say that. We hope our child to study something that EARNS a lot of money / Good a career in the future because that is a STABILITY that we all want and need. Our parent's generation had to work so hard to provide us the opportunity of education and they sacrificed almost everything for us. So...You understood why and you slowly put dreams aside (unless your dream was always aligned with your parents).
I Felt...crushed. But, I understood. I carried on minoring in dance to keep that part of my temporary satisfied. I flourished within the dance department, I've got tons of recognition. I managed to score many solos for the dance performance and invited my mom to watch (secretly still hoping to convince her). But it was just...a hobby.
The funny thing was my mom had the same dream when she was young. She worked hard and fought her way to things that she wanted. But somewhere along the line I guess we all got lost. We only apply these rules when we see fit.
See, they say shoot for the moon..even if you miss you'll land among the stars....but then there are times when people would say/ Quote as well "Be grateful with what you have and be satisfied with it"
I guess you choose which inspiration quotes you want to go with at the moment in your life right? Both makes perfect sense.
I graduated, I moved to NYC, still hoping to dance of course. I've tried applying for many jobs related to tc broadcasting but wasn't getting much opportunity. I've decided to apply for a dance company....
And guess what, I was hired but the job description was basically tied up with many different positions in that company. I was their dancer at some shows, I also the admin for their dance school, I am also their website manager, and also lat but not least their Video Editor. I spoke 3 different languages and they were thrilled. Anyway, while I was in NYC, I worked 7 days a week. 3 different jobs. 5 days was in the dance company (Which is No Weekends off due to the dance school nature) and I have Monday & Tuesday off. The rest of the days I intern in a office that was trying to launch their casting business while I tutor kids during the evening after work.
Slowly, I see no #Possibility of enjoying life. It was depressing. I always felt that NYC is full of people all around but I felt lonely. I didn't have time to socialize and I DIDN"T want to. I was overworked and unmotivated.
I dabbled into Online Dating site, hoping to find someone. And there's where I met my husband.
Fast forward...I moved out of NYC to NJ.
It seems like there's a #possibility for a new life...or maybe...not quite so afterall...
